Early morning ramblings

I was discussing the state of my bankroll and such with Jen the other night and I stumbled onto something. In April 2004, I was introduced to Hold'em and started playing around on UB in the play money section. During a session I hit a royal flush and was awarded a jackpot of $5 or something like that....and thus began the career of a casual poker player. I used that $5 to play penny poker online, slowly building that $5 to $25-30 and was pretty happy about life in general. That was followed by a win in a freeroll on UB for $750 and I was officially hooked. While a good chunk of that money went into having my house painted...beat the hell out of standing on a ladder in Ohio in August...I was determined to continue playing and learning about the game. Have had modest success at tourneys online (cash in about 30% of those I enter), although I focus on limit games now (mainly $5/10 on UB).

As I've mentioned before, I had a couple of great months late in the summer and had built my bankroll up to almost 4k....but it's now sitting at about 2k after some withdraws for car payments, fun things around the house, and a rough October and early November. What bugs me is that I'm slightly depressed about the whole thing...I have 2k of other peoples money that allows me to play poker with no risk at all to the family finances and I'm depressed....

What the hell is wrong with me........?????

I should be pretty freaking happy about the state of affairs....I have plenty of time to build up some cash this month to take to Vegas and still leave plenty at home, so that isn't the issue...I just can't understand why I'm so bugged about dropping about $700 in profit (losses from Oct/Nov)....just desn't make sense. I started to snap out of this last night after a successful tight session on UB for a $105 profit and some peppermint ice cream at Graeter's after dinner.....mmmmmmmm.

All in all, life is very good and I need to appreciate that more. My poker habit is entirely supporting itself, monthly varience happens and I'm going to welcome a bouncing baby boy into the world in just a matter of days....I should be the happiest dude on the internet...here's to getting my head screwed back on straight and appreciating where I'm at.

Not to mention, I'm planning on taking down some tourneys this weekend....I'm dealing at a local event on Friday, so I'll miss the WWdN tourney on PS...then a freeroll on UB at 8am on Sat (definately will need to caffeine dose for that one) and then the Sunday afternoon shootout with the poker bloggers headed to Vegas...plan is to take down both of those tourneys....you've been warned.